Memphis/Make/Think

I am home! I am inspired! I am really exhausted!

The view from our hotel

AIGA's Make/Think Conference was total pwnage. Since volunteering at Gain a year ago, I was pumped for this. Nothing is better than getting to schmooze with some of the legends, hang out backstage and help others, all while wearing a hydrant yellow vest.

Aesthetic Apparatus prints on display

Bullet points of this week of greatness:

• I didn't like the conference branding at first. Then I saw the baller animated title slides. SO slick and Oscars-ish.
• Command X, the reality show for graphic designers, was beyond great. Michael Bierut and Sean Adams are the ultimate game show hosts (and Chip Kidd is the ultimate judge).
• Rain-free trips: Memphis Marriott had an indoor walkway to the convention center. I am officially spoiled for life.
  
• Hearing the inside scoop on the design of Google, Coca-Cola, Stefan Bucher, R/GA and so much more.
• Listening to Sagmeister sing karaoke-style over a Beethoven track.
• Catered boxed lunches on the reg.
  
• Purchasing a gorgeous 300+ page book of illustration hotness.
• Watching Matt as Elvis' bouncer on the main stage.

Harsh words from the judges corner during the Command X competition

Conferenceness aside, I also loved Beale Street, enjoyable Memphis barbecue, a live band played that played all my favorite jams, a tour of the Gibson factory, the best hot wings of my life and the smoothest tequila sour I've ever tasted. We also witnessed a horse-drawn carriage slamming into a parked car, which was pretty unreal.

Matt also made a point to get me sleep talking on multiple occasions, ftw (and not "for the win" in this case).

This trip was one that drained my batteries physically and recharged them creatively. I am going to make sure I put energy into my own outside ideas, as well as give myself regular breaks to focus on myself and reigniting my passion. To see how time off can actually improve your game, here's a similar version of the Sagmeister lecture we saw. That man is truly inspiring.

"We named our inkjet printer Sagmeister. Coincidentally, it stops working periodically." -@andrewcmyk

Skinny Jean/Neon Shirt Tween Convention '09

Warped Tour was wicked. Every year I go, I think, "I'm too old for this shit," but my Danny Glover mentality leaves me as soon as I get next to the stage. I mainly went for one band in particular (the others were an afterthought), and my dreams came true. Cue Alexisonfire pictures.




To summarize the Alexisonfire show, the first word that comes to mind is WIN. Chris the bassist appeared to be foaming at the mouth and generated so much power and hype that my mind was blown. Wade brought the heat, Jordan was on point, George was brilliant, and Dallas was beyond glorious (even better live than on record, if that's possible).

#2 Highlight: Less Than Jake. I wasn't a fan of their music until this show; they had moms crowd-surfing and an old couple making out on stage. They were hilarious, and they played well, too.

Lowlight: BrokeNCYDE was on the tour. End of story.

I'm not sure if I'll go to Warped next year (and I know I've said that before), but if I never go again, this was a way to end the streak. The sunburn, ringing ears and exhaustion was more than worth it.

Effective Taglines. Bleeding Cowboys.

To all those looking to be successful in owning, operating, inventing, designing, producing or selling anything, ever. These trends are unavoidable right now.

Trend #1: Two Sentences. Ultimate Tagline.
If your product/service/brand/business is not currently being represented by two generic sentences, perhaps your product/service/brand/business just sucks. All the other guys are doing it! Since I've been spending more and more time in front of the TV lately (thanks to the Food Network and So You Think You Can Dance), I've been noticing a ton of these: The two-sentence slogan. I know a tagline is meant to be short and to-the-point, but they're starting to sound exactly the same. Let's take a peek.

Target: "Expect More. Pay Less." (Expect more what? Magic? Dog shit? I'm confused.)

Wal-Mart: "Save Money. Live Better." (Better......kind of. But upon review, a LOT like the first one. Smooth.)

Nutrisystem: "Lose Weight. Live Better." (lol. see above.)

Home Depot: "You Can Do It. We Can Help."

Papa Johns: "Better Ingredients. Better Pizza."

The last two aren't completely awful, but you get the idea. Wherever this two-sentence phenomenon came from, it's like the plague. And speaking of the plague:

Trend #2: Bleeding "not your momma's typeface" Cowboys.

If your product/service/brand/business cannot incorporate the glory of dafont.com's Bleeding Cowboys, again...you're going to fail (if you haven't failed already). MTV's doing it! So are music acts. In all seriousness, though, my belief is that this font is on the fast track to becoming the new Papyrus. I will shun it forever. It's become far too overused, instantly recognizable, and regardless of its potential "kind of okay" uses (rodeo posters, your kid brother's garage band promo stickers, printed on poop-scoop bags), I still think there is a multitude of alternatives that will do the job...and do the job more effectively. Despite my thoughts, it's spread like wildfire. See the following.

Chris Daughtry's new album cover.
God. It's just so rugged and irresistible!

The new MTV show, "Is She Really Going Out with Him?"

I think this usage could be warranted, due to the fact that this show is not to be taken seriously. It still gets me fired up at the fact that a popular network is spreading this sickness to the masses. However, this one really upsets me:


A design blog, guys? You couldn't hand-generate something that effectively communicates your message? The message I hear is, "I don't know what I'm doing...I just know that this will be a big hit with the kiddos. They dig that new 'grunge' thing, I hear."

Okay, so the two-sentence taglines I can kind of wrap my head around. But do some damn research, man. Target and Wal-Mart are similar, yes, but their pitches shouldn't sound the same. As for shitty fonts like the B.C., whatever happened to making your own designs instead of downloading them?

Creativity shouldn't be dead, people. And if you've got a powerhouse name behind you (like, oh, I don't know, a RECORD LABEL), why not step outside the box a little, for all our sakes. We designers want to think there's still some innovation left in the world, and we don't like being left with the sour "I've seen that before/could have done it better/wish I got paid what he did/have no faith in humanity" taste in our mouths.

The screen print experiment

My print project at work today was dynamite. Check it.
(the pics might be a bit fugly, thanks to the incapable PC I'm working on)


It was somewhat of an experiment, because there isn't much overprinting done with soft tint inks (the gold and blue you see here). I was encouraged to push this one to the limit, so there's a metallic silver for the first layer, and the colored inks were printed on top of it. It turned out surprisingly well. There's a really slick green color when the gold/blue mixed, and I ended up with a six-color piece from three inks. Pretty badass.


My regret is that I only printed on one dark garment; it's amazing how different the results were. Everywhere the color overlaps the metallic? Hotness.

So, yeah! Overall success. If you want a women's tee (size small or medium), I have a few extras to get off my hands. Or perhaps I'll just keep them all...

My nightmare is a reality

There's something about heights that will forever terrify me. I don't recall any traumatizing experiences with heights as a kid or anything, and I'm not even sure what scares me about it (the fear of falling, maybe?). Either way, feeling this small and close to danger blows my mind in the worst way. Enter the Sears Tower Skydeck.


103 stories off the ground? An inch and a half of glass for support? I could see how some people would enjoy it...kind of. I might as well save the admission fee and just sit in a room full of spiders and circus clowns with the lights off. NO THANKS, I'LL PASS.

Pampers cuts the bullshit, targets the real shit

Pampers got it right, and they've been doing it for years. Why advertise to the parents? Talk to the kids, man.



I mean, come on. Aren't you frustrated with your diaper leaking, little guy? Obviously you want some flexibility AND five-star protection.

What else could you possibly be thinking about? Food? Something to occupy your hands and teeth? Hell no. It's about your diapers. Dude, you've got a juice tasting party with your coworkers this Saturday and heaven forbid you have to wear those cheapie off-brands. Trust me. Remember last week? You didn't have your Feel n' Learn's on, you totally wet yourself, and lost your chance at a nap date with Jenny, didn't you? SO embarrassing.

It's a good thing these ads are aimed at you, kiddo. Now go put "buy some Pampers" on your To-Do list and get back to your fake mowing. You've got mouths to feed.

Accidents, 24" x 36"

This is what happens when I'm encouraged to enter an art show at work and have nothing but a blank canvas and six hours to spare.

It's called "Accidents" because I accidentally volunteered to enter, and it was the next song on the playlist I was listening to. Deep and introspective, I know. I think I'll just have to turn this into a series to make up for it.




KAPOWEE.

Touche, Microsoft.

You win. You made a wicked-clever commercial, had my jaw on the floor and then slapped me across the face. Way to downplay your brand until the end, you bastards. That was a kicker (and smart, too).

And now I'm blogging about it, spreading your brilliant advertisement even further across the interweb. I hope you're happy.



(Wasn't that good, though?)

Team Building Exercise '99!

...I mean, '09.

DUDE. My office is almost like THE Office. Better, though. I don't have to wait all week to see some hilarious workday antics, and the greatness happens in more than mere half-hour spurts.

We were supposed to be conducting a meeting this afternoon, but instead: STARING TOURNAMENT. The kind where you try not to laugh.


NOT ALLOWED: Smiling, laughing, talking, hand distractions, bathroom breaks.
ALLOWED: Breathing through mouth or butt (farting!), blinking, face taunting.

Round 1

Short vs. Tall

Intern vs. Intern

Steve vs. Steve

Asian vs. Asian

Tom getting a pep talk before the big round.

Takin' off the warm-ups

Success!

Failure.

(She wins.)

(He wins.)

Round 2
Sue was a fighter. Of course I laughed at something that wasn't even funny (like silence?) and lost. Typical.

Thus began the longest round in history. Notice how many more pictures they're in, just because we couldn't get either of them to crack.

Mosher gets in faces.

And tries intimidation.

See?

Still going...

Round 3
Captured on camera: The awkward set-up. Shortly after this moment, Chris kissed his opponent's hand, thus ultimately guaranteeing his own victory.

The rules had to get interesting at this point. Mosher cracks under the pressure, says to the judges, "Fuck this!" and gracefully forfeits.

My girl didn't pull through, unfortunately.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND
The set-up...

...And the defeat.

Nate Dogg ftw.

We heart Casual Fridays

And we heart America, too. Look at those badasses!
(Noteworthy: That flag was there specifically for the purpose of this tournament)

Best heckled line from the peanut gallery: "I will punch Mother Earth in the face."

Monday will be back to normal, though. And by normal I mean awesome.

June: The sweetest month of all

This year, my heart is aflutter with excitement for all the delicious music that will be/has been released this month. Allow me to enlighten you in alphabetical order:

Alexisonfire - "Old Crows/Young Cardinals"
The Dear Hunter - "Act III: Life and Death"
*Dredg - "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion"
*Emery - "...In Shallow Seas We Sail"
Killswitch Engage - "Killswitch Engage"
The Mars Volta - "Octahedron"
*I has it

Oh my GOD. You don't even know how much this makes me J in my P. And this is just the rock(ish) genre.

If Maynard was releasing something new this month, or if I found out that Daft Punk is playing at my house, the conclusion of June would probably make my heart and eardrums simultaneously explode with delight and satisfaction.

Two brief reviews, for those of you who value my musical expertise:

Dredg's "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is more creative than their last fresh album (as in, not their "Live at the Fillmore"). Grittier bass, a little more electronic, a little more adventurous, with a few sexy instrumental tracks that are reminiscent of their older stuff. In general, it's uppity in pace and in tonality (especially compared to the "Leitmotif" era). The hooks are stronger, and the instrumentals have evolved in positive ways. The layered sound is here, but the melodies are unexpected. Highly recommended. Here's the single, complete with a random homemade YouTube picture slideshow.

The new Emery is still sinking in, in a good way. While nothing can touch the power of their debut "The Weak's End," this one comes damn close. It combines the creative compositions and boldness of their first album with the catchiness of their second. Compared to their previous release (which seemed to be all hook, some folk, and very little substance), "...In Shallow Seas We Sail" is leaps ahead. Emery has continued to evolve, yet they've managed to retrace their steps back to what they're best at (and what I love). Solid A in my book. Here's a taste.

Music trumps art, forever and ever. The. End. I'd make a career out of it if I didn't love it so much.

Now watch my lover Dallas Green and the other Alexisonfire boyz.

OMG TIME!

Well, hot damn. Life is all weird now.

Skool's been outie for about two weeks now (it's been nice knowin' ya, college). I've been busy living in the big kid world with a big kid "temporary position" aka "internship" at Gear for Sports, making bank, promoting synergy and such.

It's been cool so far. And unusual. I've worn heels for a record four days straight and have already managed to get excited about Casual Fridays. It's like Office Space minus the flair, plus a guy who looks like Kenny Powers, minus overtime, plus getting to see hundreds of t-shirt creations on the daily. Good times.

The craziest part is this odd abundance of time after work. What the hell? What is this "time" nonsense? And what on earth am I supposed to do with it?

So far, it's included coming home, shutting my brain off and passing out until dinner. Then playing Wii, dancing to music (alone, naturally), and sleeping again. But that's been a weak week #1. I had to get my ass motivated to do the things I've been meaning to accomplish since forever.


That was an insanely quick list, and it's likely to double in size over the next couple days. Here's one result of #12. My attempt at being Nolan-esque:

Summer rulez.

T'was the night before graduation

Dedicated to the greatest people on the planet, including (but definitely NOT limited to):

• Stephan Floydmeister and his uncanny ability to be the same person as me on a constant basis
• Ryballz, for always managing to make me bust out in the most genuine laughter (OH BILLY!)
• MatttDavidson, for buying the most God-awful shots in the universe, as well as being a hilarious/awesome/kickass honorary Spring 09 senior studio member
• Andrea, for moving to Dallas with me (it's official, she just doesn't know it yet)
• Adam, for teaching me so much about myself
• Every. Single. One of you Wichita friends. For keeping me grounded and reminding me who I am and who I can be
• Momz, Daddio and lil broskie, duh
• YOU! For reading this!
  

Yo, it's Earth Day

And a pretty one, too.