Imaginary fame, FTW

I've recently been fantasizing about what my life would be like if it involved more music and fame and less art. This has consisted of me listening to a lot of hip-hop/techno/other funky nonsense and "break dancing" regularly when nobody's watching. My moves got so intense the other day, I actually ripped a hole in my PJs. No lie.

Because I'm basically famous in my mind, I decided to recruit my high-profile posse. It goes as follows:

Zach Galifianakis (as Kanye West)
I need a guy who can bring both the laughs and the rhymes. Clearly, The Nakis delivers. He's not afraid to make an ass of himself in public, which means he would be hilarious to watch while simultaneously making me look awesome. I would be the straight man next to him. The Abbott, if you will.
(Kanye himself was originally going to make this list, but his fashion sense outshines my own. Sometimes.)

Chef Gordon Ramsay
I don't need an entourage of 7-feet-tall security guards to keep things under control. This guy can handle anything, 'cause he's British and likes to cuss a lot. Plus, he can probably make a gourmet meal out of vending machine food, so that's nice. He'd be like my MacGyver, but better. *Will be replaced with the real MacGyver after calling me filthy names in public.

Pam Beasley
Obviously, I need a celebrity BFF. I don't care if she's a made-up character, she's definitely necessary. She likes artsy stuff and would totally keep my things organized and answer my cell phone when I'm too busy signing autographs. We also share the same level of fashion savvy, so she won't judge me when I refuse to shop for new clothes (unless it's online).

Justin Timberlake
What doesn't this man do? He's responsible for performing/mixing/producing all the CDs that go in my ride. JT will also perform incredible dance solos when I need a diversion in awkward situations. For example: "What's that, officer? I was speeding?" *Justin Timberlake proceeds to distract, I drive away unscathed by the law.*

Ben Franklin, duh

For all my spending needs.

Being famous is my imagination is awesome. I get all these great celebrity buddies, PLUS I get to keep my real friends, too. Who could compete with that?

First taste of fame, circa 2001

I don't know what made me think of it, but back in 8th grade I entered this peace poster contest through school. I'm pretty sure it was a requirement to enter, but still. I turned in my piece, and by some miracle I ended up a finalist in this huge international competition. I cried when I heard the news (like, a cry so hard it made my bff think my dog died). It earned me a lot of awkward dinners with some old folks of the Lion's Club, which totally extinguished the thrill, but whatev. Twas exciting at the time.

I'm convinced the reason I made the top 25 was definitely not because of my craftsmanship (that world is not a circle, fyi, and I'm pretty sure that was made with crayons), but because it was my very first attempt at the ol' Pakaste verbal + visual = message system.

There are so many awesome things about this, but mostly just the fan club section:

Aw. It would be sweeter if my dad's name was Greg.