Pampers cuts the bullshit, targets the real shit

Pampers got it right, and they've been doing it for years. Why advertise to the parents? Talk to the kids, man.



I mean, come on. Aren't you frustrated with your diaper leaking, little guy? Obviously you want some flexibility AND five-star protection.

What else could you possibly be thinking about? Food? Something to occupy your hands and teeth? Hell no. It's about your diapers. Dude, you've got a juice tasting party with your coworkers this Saturday and heaven forbid you have to wear those cheapie off-brands. Trust me. Remember last week? You didn't have your Feel n' Learn's on, you totally wet yourself, and lost your chance at a nap date with Jenny, didn't you? SO embarrassing.

It's a good thing these ads are aimed at you, kiddo. Now go put "buy some Pampers" on your To-Do list and get back to your fake mowing. You've got mouths to feed.

Accidents, 24" x 36"

This is what happens when I'm encouraged to enter an art show at work and have nothing but a blank canvas and six hours to spare.

It's called "Accidents" because I accidentally volunteered to enter, and it was the next song on the playlist I was listening to. Deep and introspective, I know. I think I'll just have to turn this into a series to make up for it.




KAPOWEE.

Touche, Microsoft.

You win. You made a wicked-clever commercial, had my jaw on the floor and then slapped me across the face. Way to downplay your brand until the end, you bastards. That was a kicker (and smart, too).

And now I'm blogging about it, spreading your brilliant advertisement even further across the interweb. I hope you're happy.



(Wasn't that good, though?)

Team Building Exercise '99!

...I mean, '09.

DUDE. My office is almost like THE Office. Better, though. I don't have to wait all week to see some hilarious workday antics, and the greatness happens in more than mere half-hour spurts.

We were supposed to be conducting a meeting this afternoon, but instead: STARING TOURNAMENT. The kind where you try not to laugh.


NOT ALLOWED: Smiling, laughing, talking, hand distractions, bathroom breaks.
ALLOWED: Breathing through mouth or butt (farting!), blinking, face taunting.

Round 1

Short vs. Tall

Intern vs. Intern

Steve vs. Steve

Asian vs. Asian

Tom getting a pep talk before the big round.

Takin' off the warm-ups

Success!

Failure.

(She wins.)

(He wins.)

Round 2
Sue was a fighter. Of course I laughed at something that wasn't even funny (like silence?) and lost. Typical.

Thus began the longest round in history. Notice how many more pictures they're in, just because we couldn't get either of them to crack.

Mosher gets in faces.

And tries intimidation.

See?

Still going...

Round 3
Captured on camera: The awkward set-up. Shortly after this moment, Chris kissed his opponent's hand, thus ultimately guaranteeing his own victory.

The rules had to get interesting at this point. Mosher cracks under the pressure, says to the judges, "Fuck this!" and gracefully forfeits.

My girl didn't pull through, unfortunately.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND
The set-up...

...And the defeat.

Nate Dogg ftw.

We heart Casual Fridays

And we heart America, too. Look at those badasses!
(Noteworthy: That flag was there specifically for the purpose of this tournament)

Best heckled line from the peanut gallery: "I will punch Mother Earth in the face."

Monday will be back to normal, though. And by normal I mean awesome.

June: The sweetest month of all

This year, my heart is aflutter with excitement for all the delicious music that will be/has been released this month. Allow me to enlighten you in alphabetical order:

Alexisonfire - "Old Crows/Young Cardinals"
The Dear Hunter - "Act III: Life and Death"
*Dredg - "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion"
*Emery - "...In Shallow Seas We Sail"
Killswitch Engage - "Killswitch Engage"
The Mars Volta - "Octahedron"
*I has it

Oh my GOD. You don't even know how much this makes me J in my P. And this is just the rock(ish) genre.

If Maynard was releasing something new this month, or if I found out that Daft Punk is playing at my house, the conclusion of June would probably make my heart and eardrums simultaneously explode with delight and satisfaction.

Two brief reviews, for those of you who value my musical expertise:

Dredg's "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is more creative than their last fresh album (as in, not their "Live at the Fillmore"). Grittier bass, a little more electronic, a little more adventurous, with a few sexy instrumental tracks that are reminiscent of their older stuff. In general, it's uppity in pace and in tonality (especially compared to the "Leitmotif" era). The hooks are stronger, and the instrumentals have evolved in positive ways. The layered sound is here, but the melodies are unexpected. Highly recommended. Here's the single, complete with a random homemade YouTube picture slideshow.

The new Emery is still sinking in, in a good way. While nothing can touch the power of their debut "The Weak's End," this one comes damn close. It combines the creative compositions and boldness of their first album with the catchiness of their second. Compared to their previous release (which seemed to be all hook, some folk, and very little substance), "...In Shallow Seas We Sail" is leaps ahead. Emery has continued to evolve, yet they've managed to retrace their steps back to what they're best at (and what I love). Solid A in my book. Here's a taste.

Music trumps art, forever and ever. The. End. I'd make a career out of it if I didn't love it so much.

Now watch my lover Dallas Green and the other Alexisonfire boyz.