AK Blog

The AK Blog has moved!

2010-03-14T19:24:00.005-05:00

If you want to keep up on my latest work and ramblings, the blog has moved to aubreyklein.com. All things new and exciting are up on the homepage, including my old posts and portfolio.

Thanks for stopping by!

Aubrey

Memphis/Make/Think

2009-10-11T18:22:00.009-05:00

I am home! I am inspired! I am really exhausted!

The view from our hotel

AIGA's Make/Think Conference was total pwnage. Since volunteering at Gain a year ago, I was pumped for this. Nothing is better than getting to schmooze with some of the legends, hang out backstage and help others, all while wearing a hydrant yellow vest.

Aesthetic Apparatus prints on display

Bullet points of this week of greatness:

I didn't like the conference branding at first. Then I saw the baller animated title slides. SO slick and Oscars-ish.
Command X, the reality show for graphic designers, was beyond great. Michael Bierut and Sean Adams are the ultimate game show hosts (and Chip Kidd is the ultimate judge).
Rain-free trips: Memphis Marriott had an indoor walkway to the convention center. I am officially spoiled for life.
Hearing the inside scoop on the design of Google, Coca-Cola, Stefan Bucher, R/GA and so much more.
Listening to Sagmeister sing karaoke-style over a Beethoven track.
Catered boxed lunches on the reg.
Purchasing a gorgeous 300+ page book of illustration hotness.
Watching Matt as Elvis' bouncer on the main stage.

Harsh words from the judges corner during the Command X competition

Conferenceness aside, I also loved Beale Street, enjoyable Memphis barbecue, a live band played that played all my favorite jams, a tour of the Gibson factory, the best hot wings of my life and the smoothest tequila sour I've ever tasted. We also witnessed a horse-drawn carriage slamming into a parked car, which was pretty unreal.

Matt also made a point to get me sleep talking on multiple occasions, ftw (and not "for the win" in this case).

This trip was one that drained my batteries physically and recharged them creatively. I am going to make sure I put energy into my own outside ideas, as well as give myself regular breaks to focus on myself and reigniting my passion. To see how time off can actually improve your game, here's a similar version of the Sagmeister lecture we saw. That man is truly inspiring.

"We named our inkjet printer Sagmeister. Coincidentally, it stops working periodically." -@andrewcmyk

Skinny Jean/Neon Shirt Tween Convention '09

2009-08-06T12:42:00.012-05:00

Warped Tour was wicked. Every year I go, I think, "I'm too old for this shit," but my Danny Glover mentality leaves me as soon as I get next to the stage. I mainly went for one band in particular (the others were an afterthought), and my dreams came true. Cue Alexisonfire pictures.

To summarize the Alexisonfire show, the first word that comes to mind is WIN. Chris the bassist appeared to be foaming at the mouth and generated so much power and hype that my mind was blown. Wade brought the heat, Jordan was on point, George was brilliant, and Dallas was beyond glorious (even better live than on record, if that's possible).

#2 Highlight: Less Than Jake. I wasn't a fan of their music until this show; they had moms crowd-surfing and an old couple making out on stage. They were hilarious, and they played well, too.

Lowlight: BrokeNCYDE was on the tour. End of story.

I'm not sure if I'll go to Warped next year (and I know I've said that before), but if I never go again, this was a way to end the streak. The sunburn, ringing ears and exhaustion was more than worth it.

Effective Taglines. Bleeding Cowboys.

2009-07-27T21:36:00.012-05:00

To all those looking to be successful in owning, operating, inventing, designing, producing or selling anything, ever. These trends are unavoidable right now.

Trend #1: Two Sentences. Ultimate Tagline.
If your product/service/brand/business is not currently being represented by two generic sentences, perhaps your product/service/brand/business just sucks. All the other guys are doing it! Since I've been spending more and more time in front of the TV lately (thanks to the Food Network and So You Think You Can Dance), I've been noticing a ton of these: The two-sentence slogan. I know a tagline is meant to be short and to-the-point, but they're starting to sound exactly the same. Let's take a peek.

Target: "Expect More. Pay Less." (Expect more what? Magic? Dog shit? I'm confused.)

Wal-Mart: "Save Money. Live Better." (Better......kind of. But upon review, a LOT like the first one. Smooth.)

Nutrisystem: "Lose Weight. Live Better." (lol. see above.)

Home Depot: "You Can Do It. We Can Help."

Papa Johns: "Better Ingredients. Better Pizza."

The last two aren't completely awful, but you get the idea. Wherever this two-sentence phenomenon came from, it's like the plague. And speaking of the plague:

Trend #2: Bleeding "not your momma's typeface" Cowboys.

If your product/service/brand/business cannot incorporate the glory of dafont.com's Bleeding Cowboys, again...you're going to fail (if you haven't failed already). MTV's doing it! So are music acts. In all seriousness, though, my belief is that this font is on the fast track to becoming the new Papyrus. I will shun it forever. It's become far too overused, instantly recognizable, and regardless of its potential "kind of okay" uses (rodeo posters, your kid brother's garage band promo stickers, printed on poop-scoop bags), I still think there is a multitude of alternatives that will do the job...and do the job more effectively. Despite my thoughts, it's spread like wildfire. See the following.

Chris Daughtry's new album cover.
God. It's just so rugged and irresistible!

The new MTV show, "Is She Really Going Out with Him?"

I think this usage could be warranted, due to the fact that this show is not to be taken seriously. It still gets me fired up at the fact that a popular network is spreading this sickness to the masses. However, this one really upsets me:

A design blog, guys? You couldn't hand-generate something that effectively communicates your message? The message I hear is, "I don't know what I'm doing...I just know that this will be a big hit with the kiddos. They dig that new 'grunge' thing, I hear."

Okay, so the two-sentence taglines I can kind of wrap my head around. But do some damn research, man. Target and Wal-Mart are similar, yes, but their pitches shouldn't sound the same. As for shitty fonts like the B.C., whatever happened to making your own designs instead of downloading them?

Creativity shouldn't be dead, people. And if you've got a powerhouse name behind you (like, oh, I don't know, a RECORD LABEL), why not step outside the box a little, for all our sakes. We designers want to think there's still some innovation left in the world, and we don't like being left with the sour "I've seen that before/could have done it better/wish I got paid what he did/have no faith in humanity" taste in our mouths.

The screen print experiment

2009-07-09T22:54:00.012-05:00

My print project at work today was dynamite. Check it.
(the pics might be a bit fugly, thanks to the incapable PC I'm working on)

It was somewhat of an experiment, because there isn't much overprinting done with soft tint inks (the gold and blue you see here). I was encouraged to push this one to the limit, so there's a metallic silver for the first layer, and the colored inks were printed on top of it. It turned out surprisingly well. There's a really slick green color when the gold/blue mixed, and I ended up with a six-color piece from three inks. Pretty badass.

My regret is that I only printed on one dark garment; it's amazing how different the results were. Everywhere the color overlaps the metallic? Hotness.

So, yeah! Overall success. If you want a women's tee (size small or medium), I have a few extras to get off my hands. Or perhaps I'll just keep them all...

My nightmare is a reality

2009-07-06T19:18:00.006-05:00

There's something about heights that will forever terrify me. I don't recall any traumatizing experiences with heights as a kid or anything, and I'm not even sure what scares me about it (the fear of falling, maybe?). Either way, feeling this small and close to danger blows my mind in the worst way. Enter the Sears Tower Skydeck.

103 stories off the ground? An inch and a half of glass for support? I could see how some people would enjoy it...kind of. I might as well save the admission fee and just sit in a room full of spiders and circus clowns with the lights off. NO THANKS, I'LL PASS.

Pampers cuts the bullshit, targets the real shit

2009-06-21T23:45:00.006-05:00

Pampers got it right, and they've been doing it for years. Why advertise to the parents? Talk to the kids, man.

I mean, come on. Aren't you frustrated with your diaper leaking, little guy? Obviously you want some flexibility AND five-star protection.

What else could you possibly be thinking about? Food? Something to occupy your hands and teeth? Hell no. It's about your diapers. Dude, you've got a juice tasting party with your coworkers this Saturday and heaven forbid you have to wear those cheapie off-brands. Trust me. Remember last week? You didn't have your Feel n' Learn's on, you totally wet yourself, and lost your chance at a nap date with Jenny, didn't you? SO embarrassing.

It's a good thing these ads are aimed at you, kiddo. Now go put "buy some Pampers" on your To-Do list and get back to your fake mowing. You've got mouths to feed.

Accidents, 24" x 36"

2009-06-15T00:13:00.010-05:00

This is what happens when I'm encouraged to enter an art show at work and have nothing but a blank canvas and six hours to spare.

It's called "Accidents" because I accidentally volunteered to enter, and it was the next song on the playlist I was listening to. Deep and introspective, I know. I think I'll just have to turn this into a series to make up for it.

KAPOWEE.

Touche, Microsoft.

2009-06-08T19:58:00.010-05:00

You win. You made a wicked-clever commercial, had my jaw on the floor and then slapped me across the face. Way to downplay your brand until the end, you bastards. That was a kicker (and smart, too).

And now I'm blogging about it, spreading your brilliant advertisement even further across the interweb. I hope you're happy.

(Wasn't that good, though?)

Team Building Exercise '99!

2009-06-05T20:07:00.001-05:00

...I mean, '09.

DUDE. My office is almost like THE Office. Better, though. I don't have to wait all week to see some hilarious workday antics, and the greatness happens in more than mere half-hour spurts.

We were supposed to be conducting a meeting this afternoon, but instead: STARING TOURNAMENT. The kind where you try not to laugh.

NOT ALLOWED: Smiling, laughing, talking, hand distractions, bathroom breaks.
ALLOWED: Breathing through mouth or butt (farting!), blinking, face taunting.

Round 1

Short vs. Tall

Intern vs. Intern

Steve vs. Steve

Asian vs. Asian

Tom getting a pep talk before the big round.

Takin' off the warm-ups

Success!

Failure.

(She wins.)

(He wins.)

Round 2
Sue was a fighter. Of course I laughed at something that wasn't even funny (like silence?) and lost. Typical.

Thus began the longest round in history. Notice how many more pictures they're in, just because we couldn't get either of them to crack.

Mosher gets in faces.

And tries intimidation.

See?

Still going...

Round 3
Captured on camera: The awkward set-up. Shortly after this moment, Chris kissed his opponent's hand, thus ultimately guaranteeing his own victory.

The rules had to get interesting at this point. Mosher cracks under the pressure, says to the judges, "Fuck this!" and gracefully forfeits.

My girl didn't pull through, unfortunately.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND
The set-up...

...And the defeat.

Nate Dogg ftw.

We heart Casual Fridays

And we heart America, too. Look at those badasses!
(Noteworthy: That flag was there specifically for the purpose of this tournament)

Best heckled line from the peanut gallery: "I will punch Mother Earth in the face."

Monday will be back to normal, though. And by normal I mean awesome.

June: The sweetest month of all

2009-06-02T21:08:00.002-05:00

This year, my heart is aflutter with excitement for all the delicious music that will be/has been released this month. Allow me to enlighten you in alphabetical order:

Alexisonfire - "Old Crows/Young Cardinals"
The Dear Hunter - "Act III: Life and Death"
*Dredg - "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion"
*Emery - "...In Shallow Seas We Sail"
Killswitch Engage - "Killswitch Engage"
The Mars Volta - "Octahedron"
*I has it

Oh my GOD. You don't even know how much this makes me J in my P. And this is just the rock(ish) genre.

If Maynard was releasing something new this month, or if I found out that Daft Punk is playing at my house, the conclusion of June would probably make my heart and eardrums simultaneously explode with delight and satisfaction.

Two brief reviews, for those of you who value my musical expertise:

Dredg's "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is more creative than their last fresh album (as in, not their "Live at the Fillmore"). Grittier bass, a little more electronic, a little more adventurous, with a few sexy instrumental tracks that are reminiscent of their older stuff. In general, it's uppity in pace and in tonality (especially compared to the "Leitmotif" era). The hooks are stronger, and the instrumentals have evolved in positive ways. The layered sound is here, but the melodies are unexpected. Highly recommended. Here's the single, complete with a random homemade YouTube picture slideshow.

The new Emery is still sinking in, in a good way. While nothing can touch the power of their debut "The Weak's End," this one comes damn close. It combines the creative compositions and boldness of their first album with the catchiness of their second. Compared to their previous release (which seemed to be all hook, some folk, and very little substance), "...In Shallow Seas We Sail" is leaps ahead. Emery has continued to evolve, yet they've managed to retrace their steps back to what they're best at (and what I love). Solid A in my book. Here's a taste.

Music trumps art, forever and ever. The. End. I'd make a career out of it if I didn't love it so much.

Now watch my lover Dallas Green and the other Alexisonfire boyz.

OMG TIME!

2009-05-30T10:26:00.001-05:00

Well, hot damn. Life is all weird now.

Skool's been outie for about two weeks now (it's been nice knowin' ya, college). I've been busy living in the big kid world with a big kid "temporary position" aka "internship" at Gear for Sports, making bank, promoting synergy and such.

It's been cool so far. And unusual. I've worn heels for a record four days straight and have already managed to get excited about Casual Fridays. It's like Office Space minus the flair, plus a guy who looks like Kenny Powers, minus overtime, plus getting to see hundreds of t-shirt creations on the daily. Good times.

The craziest part is this odd abundance of time after work. What the hell? What is this "time" nonsense? And what on earth am I supposed to do with it?

So far, it's included coming home, shutting my brain off and passing out until dinner. Then playing Wii, dancing to music (alone, naturally), and sleeping again. But that's been a weak week #1. I had to get my ass motivated to do the things I've been meaning to accomplish since forever.

That was an insanely quick list, and it's likely to double in size over the next couple days. Here's one result of #12. My attempt at being Nolan-esque:

Summer rulez.

T'was the night before graduation

2009-05-15T23:57:00.009-05:00

Dedicated to the greatest people on the planet, including (but definitely NOT limited to):

Stephan Floydmeister and his uncanny ability to be the same person as me on a constant basis
Ryballz, for always managing to make me bust out in the most genuine laughter (OH BILLY!)
MatttDavidson, for buying the most God-awful shots in the universe, as well as being a hilarious/awesome/kickass honorary Spring 09 senior studio member
Andrea, for moving to Dallas with me (it's official, she just doesn't know it yet)
Adam, for teaching me so much about myself
Every. Single. One of you Wichita friends. For keeping me grounded and reminding me who I am and who I can be
Momz, Daddio and lil broskie, duh
YOU! For reading this!

Yo, it's Earth Day

2009-04-22T14:48:00.008-05:00

And a pretty one, too.

Snarcolepsy and the Caffeine Experiment

2009-04-16T10:13:00.000-05:00

So I had this brilliant idea to give up caffeine till Easters. I did this not only because of the incredible challenge (I love me some Dew), but as a scientific experiment.

Over the past few years, I have basically concluded that I have narcolepsy. Maybe just a mild case of it or something, if that's possible. I don't pass out from pure excitement, but I do tend to stay away from sharp objects. I guess that's more of a generality. Hm.

Exhibit A: Class notes
This is likely just a demonstration of my sleepiness, but keep in mind the fact that I would usually come to class feeling refreshed and ready to learn. And extra caffeinated.

From cultural studies class

From marketing. Also featuring a brilliant use of irony.

Exhibit B: Things I have slept in and/or through
1. A bowling alley
2. Watching a football game with friends...at a bar
3. Exciting movies in the theater including, but not limited to: The Chronicles of Narnia, 300, most horror films, the last half of Eagle Eye and all three Bournes
4. During a game night/birthday party
5. While eating breakfast
6. Every single time I try to watch Dexter online
(Note-worthy: All of these activities were prefaced or accompanied by caffeine consumption)

The Caffeine Shift
Since dropping the caff, though, my narcoleptic tendencies have dissipated and transformed into other weird things. Over the past month, I've been having extreme sleep talk + walk sessions with myself in the night. This has included me shouting lines such as "YOU DESIGNED IT WRONG," punch-dancing in my sleep and removing the pictures on my walls.

I've had some really crazy dreamage, too. While I've had significantly less fulfilling sleep off the 'feine, I am surprisingly much less tired in general. I have yet to fall asleep in a loud public setting and the average day is a cake walk to stay awake (exception: breakfast).

What does it all mean?
Consuming caffeine turns me into this, and the absence of it makes me do this in my sleep. It remains to be seen whether or not I will resume consumption on a regular basis. So far I've partaken in a few caff bevs with extra sleepiness as a side-effect. In the meantime, I will continue to be the mostly-decaf version of myself and see what other crazy things my sleeping habits bring out (injury count, copyrighted dance moves, rearranged furniture). I'll keep you posted.

DALLAS

2009-04-10T21:10:00.012-05:00

The past few weeks have been intensssse.

Most of my time was spent working on this:

To take it with me here:

And back to this place:

With these amazing people:
The DSVC Student Show & Conference was a big hit once again. All the stress I was under putting together my child (portfolio) was semi-worth it after getting some great feedback from the pros.

Goods:

Walkie-talkies for the road trip
Beautiful Dallas weather
Hearing Wayne Geyer's wit every day
Bri and Dave's "Creative Cursing" book, used for impromptu battles
Giant sangria margarita
Meeting up with Jeff Barfoot for a portfolio critique
Kicking it with Beau from HKS and enjoying some brewskies outside
Hanging out with some great design kids from around the country
Getting a free t-shirt/paper samples/inspiration

Not-so-goods:

Econo Lodge
Nastiest orange juice on the planet
"Job Fair" translated to "Unpaid Internship Fair"
Longest drive home everrr

Overall, well worth the time and moneys. It's been an adventure playing catch-up, but nothing's better than a sweet road trip with some good friends. I made some great connections while down there, and I can only hope it all pays off!

Some of my favorite men are also other things

2009-03-24T10:56:00.012-05:00

Steve Carell is a stick of gum!

Jeremy Piven is tequila!

Zach Braff is water!
http://www.purwater.com/voiceofwater/

Chris Parnell is a huge talking glove!

(Denis Leary is also a truck, but I like the commercials more than I like him).

What's with all the selling out, fellas?

Don't worry...I still love you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take this Cuervo shot and finish making my Hamburger Helper.

If you want to feel like a kid again...

2009-03-20T07:31:00.009-05:00

Check this out! I remember being fascinated with the Jurassic Park movies when I was younger (and even today), but this right here fills me with more curiosity and childlike wonder than my brain can process. Ahhh, I love it!

Here's the full story and a longer video from BBC.

THE LOGO CONSPIRACY

2009-03-18T18:58:00.025-05:00

Either there's something in the water, aliens who like to feast on tasty little designer brains, or millions and millions of dollars being thrown at the ultimate April Fool's prank.

Rebranding is happening everywhere it seems, but most of it is taking a thousand paces backward for both design and the clients involved. Tropicana dropped a huge bomb when they swapped out their classic straw-in-the-orange for a big glass of OJ: sales dropped because their faithful customers couldn't find the Tropicana. All they saw was a shelf full of generic store brand juice. Both designers and non-designers complained, and I can't blame them, either.

Off the top of my head, I can't think of any company that's made a powerful leap forward with rebranding recently. Coca-Cola's simplification was a pretty good one, but that's about all I got. Anybody who has an example of an "ah-ha" rebrand should let me know, because I'm beginning to lose faith over here.

8 Rules of the Rebrand:

1. Friendly company name + Generic sans serif = Irony
Blimpie's old logo wasn't the greatest thing in the world, I will say that. But the name is Blimpie, for God's sake. It's going to sound fun no matter what you do to it, so you might as well embrace that fact. Instead, the sans-serif trend was put into motion and killed the whole vibe. Do not want.

2. A pointless swoosh does not make a (good) difference.
Nothing is different from the old logo, with the exception of the color and a boomerang (?). The swoosh serves no purpose, aesthetically or conceptually. Unless you're Nike or have a damn good reason to swooshify something, don't.

3. Live trace is never the answer.
The most confusing thing about this rebrand is the fact that it went in the opposite direction of the trend. "Simplify, simplify, simplify? No. We gave our in-house designer the week off and gave Jimmy access to the live-trace button. And now we have a new logo!" Sick. And won't this be more difficult to implement on signage? (Thanks to Stephen for bringing this one to my attention)

4. Communicate the message of your company.
Neither animal, nor planet. I have tried to see an abstracted bird's beak in the side-ways "M," but if that was an intentional move, it wasn't made obvious enough. Trendy (kind of?) but could have made use of a dynamic icon rather than this weird arrangement of type.

5. Don't make it look like Hell.
Literally. A swirling, spiraling pit to Hell.

6. There's nothing wrong with a classic.
When this one was posted on Brand New's website, one of the commenters posed a brilliant question: "Why does the smile have a herpes sore?"

If you want to make it more friendly, Kraft, round the edges some more. Bingo. This went from recognizable corporate brand to an awkward smirk. With herpes, I guess.

7. Never let your friend's cousin's high-school-freshman daughter design your logo.
I'm still trying to understand this. Just...follow the damn rule. My eyes hurt.

8. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Please.

Imaginary fame, FTW

2009-03-15T19:25:00.031-05:00

I've recently been fantasizing about what my life would be like if it involved more music and fame and less art. This has consisted of me listening to a lot of hip-hop/techno/other funky nonsense and "break dancing" regularly when nobody's watching. My moves got so intense the other day, I actually ripped a hole in my PJs. No lie.

Because I'm basically famous in my mind, I decided to recruit my high-profile posse. It goes as follows:

Zach Galifianakis (as Kanye West)
I need a guy who can bring both the laughs and the rhymes. Clearly, The Nakis delivers. He's not afraid to make an ass of himself in public, which means he would be hilarious to watch while simultaneously making me look awesome. I would be the straight man next to him. The Abbott, if you will.
(Kanye himself was originally going to make this list, but his fashion sense outshines my own. Sometimes.)

Chef Gordon Ramsay
I don't need an entourage of 7-feet-tall security guards to keep things under control. This guy can handle anything, 'cause he's British and likes to cuss a lot. Plus, he can probably make a gourmet meal out of vending machine food, so that's nice. He'd be like my MacGyver, but better. *Will be replaced with the real MacGyver after calling me filthy names in public.

Pam Beasley
Obviously, I need a celebrity BFF. I don't care if she's a made-up character, she's definitely necessary. She likes artsy stuff and would totally keep my things organized and answer my cell phone when I'm too busy signing autographs. We also share the same level of fashion savvy, so she won't judge me when I refuse to shop for new clothes (unless it's online).

Justin Timberlake
What doesn't this man do? He's responsible for performing/mixing/producing all the CDs that go in my ride. JT will also perform incredible dance solos when I need a diversion in awkward situations. For example: "What's that, officer? I was speeding?" *Justin Timberlake proceeds to distract, I drive away unscathed by the law.*

Ben Franklin, duh

For all my spending needs.

Being famous is my imagination is awesome. I get all these great celebrity buddies, PLUS I get to keep my real friends, too. Who could compete with that?

Two video posts in a row? Really?

2009-03-12T13:32:00.002-05:00

Yes.

Please enjoy this music video from Raphael Saadiq. Why aren't there more videos like this? I wonder that every day.

Flickermood 2.0

2009-03-09T15:39:00.007-05:00

I thought the Pulp Fiction typography animation was one of the best out there, but this one takes the cake. There's something powerfully captivating about the words and visuals. It's not meant to be read, but experienced.

Flickermood 2.0 from Sebastian Lange on Vimeo.

Men of Senior Studio: Three Months of Sexy Calendar

2009-03-08T15:58:00.012-05:00

Ladies! Do you need a man in your life who is sophisticated? Sensitive? A bad boy, perhaps?

Allow me to introduce you to some of the men of senior studio. Their passion for art alone will make you swoon, but these pictures are worth more than a thousand words.

Mr. March: Stephen

Look at that craftsmanship! Here, Stephen shows that he knows how to work with his hands while demonstrating some impressive exacto knife skills. Notice the mitten on the left hand...trend-setting AND practical. How's that for sophistication?

Mr. April: Nolan

Caught in the act, Nolan is busy rounding the corners of some hand-made playing cards (gotta smooth out those edges!). If you look closely in the background, you'll notice that he has a great sense of humor. He also keeps in touch with his feminine side by using a pink corner-rounder...a girl couldn't ask for more.

Mr. May: Ryan

This bad boy is not afraid to get down to business. Ryan cuts to the chase and lets you know exactly what's on his mind, and he knows that you won't be able to resist it either. Let's not forget that he also loves painting, kittens and long walks on the beach. Every woman's dream!

The Men of Senior Studio: Three Months of Sexy calendar is available for a limited time only, so order now! Are you following me, camera guy?

McFAIL

2009-03-04T03:43:00.007-06:00

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the fact that PETA's fake McDonald's website looks better than McDonald's actual website.

Fake

Real

McDonald's isn't really known for good things unless you're drunk-eating at 3AM or a fan of heart disease. This was pretty fantastic, though...I counted at least eight fonts on the Mickey D's site and lost track of the number of colors. The layout doesn't reflect their new branding system whatsoever and changes on almost every page, too. Click through it if you want a good laugh.

(Speaking of new branding, that grunge display text really says "chic" -- a nice homage to their new terra-cotta interiors and high-end coffee bevs)

Silly McDizzles. You've got a fugly little identity mess on your hands. You should probably hire me to fix it or something.

Home: A Phlog

2009-02-28T06:05:00.022-06:00

Outside the studio, inside the building.

Incredibad

2009-02-25T16:32:00.009-06:00

The past two weeks have (mostly) ruled because of this new Lonely Island album.

I like funny music. A lot. If you don't know about Flight of the Conchords or Tenacious D, we probably can't be friends anymore. REVIEW TIME:

Who Said We're Wack? - I kind of skip this song every time I play this album, but it's still dece. I just like to get to track #2.
Santana DVX (ft.E-40) - I dig champagne, E-40 AND Santana. I'm thankful that this song exists, because I don't think a better combination could have been created in my mind.
Jizz In My Pants - Killer Euro spoof with some JT-style breakdown. Instant classic...I hope the whole world has heard it by now. I would probably like this song even if it wasn't hilarious.
I'm On A Boat (ft.T-Pain) - NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE ON A BOAT. This is climbing up on my "Most Played" list on iTunes. Thanks, T-Pain, for making such a hot track. Probably my favorite on the album, actually. Great to breakdance to in studio when nobody's around...I mean, what?
Sax Man (ft. Jack Black) - I laughed so hard I thought my appendix was going to burst. This is likely because the first time I listened to this was at 4:45 in the morning and I almost ODed on caffeine. But it's still funny now, so that says something.
Lazy Sunday (ft. Chris Parnell) - This song was the very first video I ever experienced on YouTube. No lie. And I macked on some of those Magnolia cupcakes on my first NYC trip, so this will remain close to my heart fo lyfe.
Normal Guy - Meh, okay. Weird, but whatever. I've never been one for random interludes.
Boombox (ft. Julian Casablancas) - I don't know much about the The Strokes, but I instantly like this Julian guy. Smooth vocals. Not sure about the boiled goose lines, but the beat is hot, and that's all that really matters.
Shrooms - Ahaha...expected. Reminds me of "Cool Beans," for some reason, which probably should have been on this album, too, right?
Like A Boss - Again, laugh-attack. Copy/pasting the lyrics just wouldn't do this justice. It gets progressively intense (as most of these tracks do), but I find it endearing. Or something like that.
We Like Sportz - Obnoxious, which is intentional. So...SUCCESS.
Dreamgirl (ft. Norah Jones) - I love Norah Jones now. I mean, she was good before, but this just confirms that she has an incredible sense of humor. Chex mix, ftw.
Ras Trent - YES. Rasta musical collage.
Dick In A Box (ft. Justin Timberlake) - Forever one of the greatest things ever to come out of SNL/Justin. Besides the jizz in his pants...?
The Old Saloon (Mix Tape Edit) - The voices they use are great, but this is another skip-a-roo for me. Oh wellz...it is an interlude, after all.
Punch You In The Jeans - This one's okay. The best part is the title, because I've been incorprating it into everyday conversation (ie: "She did WHAT? I'm gonna punch her in the jeans.").
Space Olympics - REACH FOR THE STARS. This is a winner!
Natalie's Rap (ft. Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell) - My second-favorite track on the album, maybe. This girl is HARD. I almost shead a tear...If I were an actress, I'd likely be perceived as a girl-next-door type like this, and then pull one of these stunts. So proud.
Incredibad - Fresh Prince throwbackish. Interesting title track with a sweet name. It's growing on me. Strange-ass plot line, but that wouldn't be the first weird thing on this album.

Overall, I give it an 8/10. It's gotta be better than a 7 considering how many times I've looped it now. If you don't mind vulgarity, humor, sarcasm, creativity and decent music, you should probably give it a download. The only two things that I expected to be on this album were "Cool Beans" and the Blizzard Man track. Here's a video if you haven't clicked on any linkz yet:

Coming soon

2009-02-20T17:15:00.008-06:00

To supplement my post deficiency, which can be blamed on constant studio time, a ridiculous class schedule, my daily fight against evil and 3.5 hours of sleep a night (on a good day), here's something awesome to check out:

Read + watch this article about some intense/deadly/ass-kicking works of art. I dare you.

More coming soon from ME. For real, I promise.

Faceplague

2009-02-08T17:48:00.009-06:00

Recently, the "25 Random Facts About Me" has been running rampant on facebook like smoke in lil Mikey's lungs. So, to avoid unfriendville, here are 25 things about me for you to digest off the (face)books. No send-this-to-25-friends, no tagging, no nonsense. Read it or don't.

I have texture issues with certain foodstuffs. See: tomatoes.
I strongly considered applying for a job as a I Can Has Cheezburger? moderator. Srsly.
Few things agitate me more than poor grammar, which is ironic considering #2.
When crisis strikes, dancing trumps all other remedies.
Talking on the phone is a mild phobia of mine. Unexplainable, really.
Techno music drives my work sessions.
Acoustic and metal music work my drive sessions.
I am severely directionally challenged. Even with written directions, spoken directions, and a hand-drawn-to-scale detailed map and I will probably STILL get lost.
Things I have done in the past: piano, violin, soccer, acting, choir, gymnastics and dance. I miss all of them.
Shopping is my nemesis. I will wear my clothes/shoes/accessories until they are completely falling apart.
I tap my feet on the pedals to the music whilst driving. EXTREME.
I very much enjoy public speaking and wish I had more opportunities to do it.
The first CD I ever bought was Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill."
Sweatpants rule. Changing into a pair is, without a doubt, my top priority when I come home for the day.
Dream jobs: frontwoman for a metal band or a Sportscenter anchor.
I never walk up the stairs...I hop.
I buy a gallon of milk for myself every week.
My favorite color right now is deep turquoise. This is likely to change next week.
I sleeptalk often, sleepwalk occasionally.
I've seen all my favorite comedians live, save for Mitch Hedberg (RIP). And maybe Dane Cook before he turned into a d-bag.
Arrogance + Ignorance = My metaphorical fist in your face
I've never been stung by a bee, nor broken a bone. *knocks on wood*
However, I have suffered from mono, dry socket, eye surgery and whooping cough. Tasty!
NYC, Dallas, Galveston and Wichita will always be close to my heart.
Confidence is something I have way too much of sometimes...I'm working on that one.

Hello, world.

2009-02-04T19:46:00.005-06:00

I hope you're ready for me.

Desktop update

2009-02-03T00:19:00.001-06:00

lol.

The Turd Burglars

2009-01-31T02:14:00.013-06:00

Let's rewind to last Sunday night.

I'm all cozied up, kicking back with a hot mug of chai, watching some Planet Earth and letting my brain idle for a bit. Ah, such a glorious night....But where are my friends at?

Probably vandalizing my desk space.

The Turd Burglars struck at approximately 2:27AM, armed with toilet paper and a whole lot of rage. This is what I get for leaving the studio for an extended period of time. Apparently when I say, "Yeah, I'm not coming in tonight," it also comes with the clause "...so feel free to violate my space however you see fit."

Oh, girls. I'm almost proud.

Yeeeeeah.

Artistic photography by Stephen, flowers by Ashleigh and damage by the TB's.

Revenge will be sought, no doubt. It's just a matter of when. And with a creative double-agent on my side (who shall remain nameless), it's no question that my attack will rival every retaliation in the history of mankind. Prank ideas are both appreciated and encouraged.

Man, Chester! (Side effects of Senior Studio)

2009-01-23T14:42:00.010-06:00

One of the current assignments is to create a travel campaign for an international city. Senior studio is pretty much the best thing ever because I hate sleeping but really enjoy feeling like a crazy person.

And it's only been one full week. Ahahahaha.

This is just a tribute.

2009-01-20T23:03:00.020-06:00

It's been about a month now since one of the most creative/eccentric/badass minds ever to grace Manhattan, Kansas packed up her things and moved to the land of opportunity.

Upon going through my desk to transfer its contents to my new home-away-from-home on campus (senior studio [a whole 'nother story]), I came across a few little creations by the one and only Kasie. Here's a little sample.

My Christmas card.

Not only was this written on a regifted piece of stationary (the black mark at the top left is covering up "Tommy"), she kindly marked all rivers, added a killer seal and used three different kinds of ink.

This was the envelope.

Beautifully illustrated, featuring another sea mammal, as well an expert thief slash eskimo.

Valentine's Day Poem.

That is a dead/rotting mouse. The back reads: "Now write something special & romantic to yourself from me to you here."

Birthday present: clown statue.*

*This is not the actual statue she gave me for my birthday. However, she definitely did give me a hollow plastic clown...I'm just too afraid to remove it from its paper bag stuffed in the back of my closet. This does earn an A for creativity, though. And an A+ in keeping me from sleeping at night.

I couldn't find the modge-podged card that went along with that gift, but naturally it was filled with hints of sheer brilliance.

Long story short, Kasie is a total baller. She helped me survive the wrath of Terri in drawing classes and exchanged many verbal jousts with me along the way. She is missed like whoa. I hope she becomes a creative director some day...Or a Pam for me when I'm rich and famous and running my own office with the rest of the art kids.

Three things...

2009-01-12T16:02:00.007-06:00

Thanks to Patrick for the bit of inspirado (go read his blog and have a laugh or two).
I'm not quite sure how I forgot about Killswitch Engage's Dio remake a few posts ago, but I did. It pains me.
This poster is hanging a few cubes down in the office:

Upon further investigation, that font is not Chiller, yet it is uncannily similar and still manages to convey the same message of care, sentiment, and inspiration. Bravo!

Dear Nickelback:

2009-01-11T17:53:00.002-06:00

You have met your match.

A bird in the hand is worth four in the dock.

2009-01-09T01:35:00.005-06:00

Noteables: There are four birds sitting in my dock, two references to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and a highlighted Toothpaste for Dinner comic. My desktop is looking SO fine.

First taste of fame, circa 2001

2009-01-07T00:43:00.015-06:00

I don't know what made me think of it, but back in 8th grade I entered this peace poster contest through school. I'm pretty sure it was a requirement to enter, but still. I turned in my piece, and by some miracle I ended up a finalist in this huge international competition. I cried when I heard the news (like, a cry so hard it made my bff think my dog died). It earned me a lot of awkward dinners with some old folks of the Lion's Club, which totally extinguished the thrill, but whatev. Twas exciting at the time.

I'm convinced the reason I made the top 25 was definitely not because of my craftsmanship (that world is not a circle, fyi, and I'm pretty sure that was made with crayons), but because it was my very first attempt at the ol' Pakaste verbal + visual = message system.

There are so many awesome things about this, but mostly just the fan club section:

Aw. It would be sweeter if my dad's name was Greg.

These covers are so hot right now.

2009-01-04T22:02:00.014-06:00

In my particular order:

10) Fall Out Boy's "Beat It"
Let's face it. This made the list because Buster from Arrested Development is in the music video, and Pete licks his bass again at 2:44. Mmmyes.

9) The Devil Wears Prada's "Still Fly"
Yeah...It's better than you'd expect.

8) Deepfield's "Don't Let Go"
The saddest thing about this cover is that not everyone remembers En Vogue's, straight outta '96.

7) Coldplay's "Viva la Vida"
Oops...

6) In Flame's "Land of Confusion"
Not the same as the Disturbed one. Sick.

5) Andy McKee's "Africa"
Anything involving Toto and an acoustic guitar is automatically a winner, right?

4) Evan's Blue's "Possession"
Yep, that's a Sarah McLachlan song.

3) Alanis Morisette's "My Humps"
Satire at its finest. Reminiscent of Tori Amos' "Smells Like Teen Spirit" only way more badass.

2) A Static Lullaby's "Toxic"
Wait...There's screaming in it!? YES.

1) Framing Hanley's "Lollipop"
Without a doubt the most intelligent cover I have ever heard. If you're going to cover anyone's music, why wouldn't it be the most popular artist of '08? Ballsy for a group of boys from Nashville, and oh, so good. Skip past the first two minutes if you're as impatient as I am:

I've been searching for a leaked Silverstein remake of "Apologize" with no such luck. That one will be released on the latest installment of the "Punk Goes..." series. I hope it's as amazing as I anticipate.

Note: There are several covers that didn't quite make my list (like Mae's NIN remake, the stuff on eMOTIVe, or that guy on YouTube who does "Hey Ya"), but I'm always looking for new ones. For reals. Good or bad, there's something about hearing old songs turned new that just tugs the heartstrings.

I really like lists.

2008-12-31T23:50:00.005-06:00

So here are some '08 highlights:

Will Ferrell, Demetri Martin, Nick Swardson and THE NAKIS
Getting a life-altering, mind-blowing Blackberry
Taste of Chaos with lil broskie
Watching Beasley play for K-State
Seeing Sagmeister speak IN PERSON
Dallas and The Jeff Barfoot Experience
My 21st birthday shenanigans in Aggieville
Mervinator's poster design class slash hell
Redesigning the Student Union webpage in 3 days with myself as art director (omg)
The sort of MTV thing
Blue Moon illustration up in Chi-town's MCA
4th of July Extravaganza (and the best fireworks show in history)
St. Louis bus trip with Jofeen to see Mike Birbiglia
A-Run's killer after-hours rave party
Pineapple Express
Finding sweet, sweet Archer
Discovering my 3D Paddy's Pub model was DELETED
Mental breakdown
Being exposed to The Bloody Beetroots and the glory that is "House" (thanks, Adam)
Completing the revamped Paddy's and the relief that followed
Rockin' the Metropolis '08 - AIGA Conference + NYC Adventure, part deux*
*plus meeting my idol
Witnessing three flat tires in the span of one week
Halloween in the ville
Voting for the first time ever
Kicking it at Bobby T's with the one and only Tom Bookwalter
Realizing that Big Man and Johnny Res actually graduated (proof miracles exist!)
Kasie becomes a wolverine? Or moves away, anyway
20-passenger limo tour of KC lights
Toothpastefordinner every single day
Semi-retiring my 10-year-old pair of Docs

In summary, tis been a good year. Happy '09, everyone!

De(sigh)n.

2008-12-30T17:01:00.001-06:00

The past couple weeks have been nothing short of glorious: No class, no work, and (virtually) no obligations. The holidays have provided a much-needed recharging, and the family time was long overdue. However, in the past three days, I've been exposed to some wretched things, and they all have one thing in common: Papyrus usage.

Let's review:

1) Pizza Hut's "The Natural" (not to be confused with this natural).

The first thing I noticed about Pizza Hut's latest TV ad was that it no longer features the caption "not actors" while people are raving about how super awesome their pizza is. The second thing I noticed? The fugly Papyrus. Was it too hard to go to dafont.com and download something slightly less gross for free?

It's all over their website, too. Delicious!

2) Par Exsalonce. Uber-expensive, we-have-a-consultation-with-your-hair-before-we-cut-it kind of place.

Walking through the mall is already one of my least favorite things to do. The last thing I want is to feast my eyes upon this.

In their defense, Papyrus has been used to portray calmness, quality and serenity before.

3) This website. Joke or not, it did make me die a little inside.

Papyrus has been used to communicate a variety of things, including, but not limited to:

Anything involving nature, animals, Africa or the like
Peace and love
Wednesday night Bunko night
Longaberger Party!
Natural pizza, apparently
This is for charity
We sell high-end beauty supplies and give massages
You're invited to Felix & Ethel's Safari-themed 35th Wedding Anniversary + Potluck Dinner
I was too lazy to download a font, but I still want to look sophisticated
Religious themes
Religious themes + nature, animals, Africa and the like

I never thought a font could be so versatile, but Papyrus, you have proven me wrong. If nothing else, you at least manage to provide hope for me and my fellow classmates for our futures in the design profession. Keep on trucking, you ugly font, you...just not for national chains, okay?